The sister side

A million miles above the ground
Sifting through blue sky's and puffy white clouds
I stare out of my window to the tiny tiny city below
Foolishly search for a chance to see you and your microscopic car
We were just laughing and being silly in it just 5 mins ago
Now I soar through the sky
Poorly fighting tears
Our goodbye was cut so short
Stupid man demanding you get "behind the line"
And you were only trying to help me
I don't think I give you enough credit for all the ways you try and help me
Sometimes I take your advice defensively...
When really you're just trying to teach me ways to protect my sensitive heart
A million miles above you, I promise I'm going to work on not being so sensitive and being more tough like you
I look up to you as if you're the older sister
Funny how that works... Sometimes it drives me crazy, other days I couldn't be more proud
Life has changed for us so many times
But, we were usually there to get through it together
It's not that easy anymore
I'm here
You're there
And were about to experience one of  our most dramatic changes yet
I'm about to be a mommy
You're about to become an aunt
As time has passed, you've gotten so much more excited with the idea of being an aunt
And you'll never know how much that warms my heart, and how much I needed your support
It wasn't planned this way
We were supposed to be neighbors
Raise our kids as instant best friends
We've become wedged between a rock and a hard place
My life like a roller coaster  had 1000 ups and downs
And when I finally got off the ride
I landed 633 miles away from you
At one point I thought it wouldn't matter
We weren't as close as wed been years before
How much would our separation matter to you? To me? At all?
Well it turns out an older sister never wants to be so far she can't be there to protect her little sister
To go hangout with her little sister
Have girl talks and laugh until we snort
And despite our arguments at times
To be around one of those people who just get you
Who know you better than you know yourself at times...
You'd think staring down into the ocean would calm my nerves
But, I'm so angry our goodbye was cut so short
I barely got to hug you as I started choking out my "I love you's and I miss yous" before having to run off and barely make it to this tiny plane
Just to sit here and cry large tears in silence, envisioning myself being torn away from you
It's so hard to get used to being so far away from the little girl who was my shadow for so long
And the little girl I took anybody on for
I know our bond was strained and put to the ultimate test or tests I should say...
And we both felt like giving up at times
But we didn't
Because despite the hurt, anger, lies and struggles, we knew what we used to be was in arms length
Even if we're not currently
Things change in a blink of an eye as we are so familiar with
And there's no doubt in my mind that no amount of miles will stop you from being that awesome aunt you're destined to be
And the great sister you already are
So even though I'm above the clouds and quickly distancing our gap
I'm with you
I'm sitting next to you right now trying to get the baby to kick for you
To laugh when we get lost in the airport parking lot
Enter of restricted area possible
And eventually go backwards to get to our destination
I close my eyes and I'm laughing all over again with you in the passenger seat
To admiring your braveness and blatant disregard for the guard trying to get you to leave my side
That's just it
That's just what sisters do
If we can't be at each other's side
We always have each other's backs
We always have each other
I'm waving to you through the clouds
Knowing soon I'll see you waiting with a pouty smile again on the other side of the clouds
It gives me something wonderful to look forward to
The baby just kicked 4 times in a row
She's looking forward to it too
To meeting the wonderful you
On the other side of the clouds, the sunny side

The sister side