on Planet Urrrgh
they don’t go: Burrrp!
instead it sounds: Sluuurp!

there are no people there
just plain blue shadows
that enjoy media discourse on
when the light will bring back
the substantial bodies they never knew

and on Planet Urrrgh
they don’t say: I love you!
they say: I love I!
they don’t wake up
they crawl and creep
and never go to sleep;
they don’t say: Good day!
they just mumble: Oh, no - not me again!

on Planet Urrrgh
they don’t have fancy words
so they call a ***** a *****
so the females and males don’t make love
they just enjoy ***

on Planet Urrrgh
their vocabulary consists
of just five words:
Sluuurp!
Iiiithnuu
Urrrrgh
Prrrghhhjjuu
Dooohnttrtrre
whic­h loosely translated in earthling language are:
Burp!
I love I!
Oh do that again, baby!
And again!
O ****!

and if you ask me
how I’d know all of this
about despicable Planet Urrrgh
that’s cos I’m from adorable Planet Trrrrkkkik;
and if you dispute
what I say about Planet Urrrgh
then I say unto you: Trrrrkkkik!