Transient waves form a helpless beauty,
words are refracted and lost in the dust,
your pain is the last thing in there memory,
your heart cannot take the judgement they throw
no constellations
I am battered and cold

Holding back who I really am,
is not something that is going to come easily,
I want to be different,
but at the same time I want to be the same,
I want to love who I please
and hate who I wish to ignore,
but so it is written these things
are not songs to be sung anymore.

I scream inside my steel chamber,
and rattle the bars that have me enclosed,
tears roll down my face as I realise
my feeling must come to a stop
I cannot do this on my own
I need your help
I cry out to the sky

I feel lonely and helpless,
my tears have gone dry,
I fall down to my knees
I cannot ask for what I need
because I do not yet know what exactly it is...
I cry out to the sky again and again

all to no avail;

my blood cascades in rivers
and my heart is placid and cold,
I need not myself anymore or the demons who have overthrown me
I need a faith more relevant than the truth
I need eyes that will see what is left unseen
I need a heart that is open to be healed and made clean

I want to be your child,
your only love forever and a day more
but God, my life is a painful misery of broken sadness
how can I be good enough for you?
How can I be anywhere near what you expect
as I curse myself and scar my lungs
My breaths become thick and bloodshod
I go lame in the frost

Father, forgive me.