I called out of work because I didn't feel well Maybe it was the snuffles Or the chills
Or maybe.. Maybe it was that thing you do to my stomach The way it flips over and over again When you say my name Or flash a smile
I think back so frequently Too frequently maybe
Remember when we were laughing on your couch together Sitting dangerously close to one another Then your mother came home And you flew to the other side of the room I still wonder why You moved away From me So quickly
Were you embarrassed? Shocked? Confused? Did you want Nothing to do with me?
Had you not realized How close I was To holding your hand
I think back
To when you watched the Superbowl at my house And we snuck out To the woods You shared your flask with me Blackberry brandy
How could I possibly forget?
I remember the way That you looked at her And how it slowly cut my heart open Every ******* Time
It seems so long ago That we tried To build an igloo In your back yard And your mother Called us crazy And wished she could be
Young like us
But the memory that stands out most Is when those words left your lips "I'm just trying to cut certain people out of my life."
It still stings
I remember every footstep As I tried to escape To another room To another life Just to let out a few tears
Alone
I can still taste the salty liquid On my tongue As you stood above me Not apologizing Not saying a word at all You just stood there and watched me Slowly Break Down
Until I finally had enough strength To tell you how I really felt At that exact moment "Get. The. ****. Out. Of. This. House." I screamed through the sobs And you listened
And it still stings
So now Years. Months. Weeks. Hours. Minutes. Later How are you still Haunting my mind?
I see the horror in your eyes The monster within
I see the track marks And what they've done
I see the burnt bridges And how alone you must be
I miss my best friend So much that it breaks my heart From time to time
Because I know That underneath everything You really are a great person
I don't know what you are so afraid of But I can't do this
Anymore
Because now I'm left wondering If all we have in common Are The Memories
And it still stings
I called out of work today Maybe Because I just couldn't handle The thoughts swirling around In my mind
Or maybe Because I don't know What I mean to you Anymore
Or maybe Because I just wanted A day To recover From those nights we spent Doing things That I'm still ashamed of
Or maybe I really was just Sick today
Sick of you Sick of breaking Sick of breathing Sick to my stomach
I have to admit My scratchy throat Swings of nausea Runny nose And chattering teeth Cannot compare to the
Hell
You put me through
But I've never called out of work For you Even though