Sparks so shut you can see through her eyes

The pains and smiles she’s gotten to have

Sometimes in the mornings I have to leave her behind

She’s forgotten how to open her eyes

I grab black grains and start the brew

She grabs her eyelashes encrusted from tears and the mascara she forgot to take off 

The lack of sleep she goes through every night has her walking ghostly down the hall

The floor is trembling on her behalf

I walk close to her, almost as the shadow or the ashes she’s left behind

‘There she goes again’ the walls whisper to me

My home goes on a riot with her presence

Her skin and eyes are opaque

They’ve forgotten what color is

Our feet ache and the intolerance for the cold pains our bones 

My heart feels heavy, intertwined with the physical pain she makes me feel every morning and the broken emotions were able to remember at night

Sometimes I feel emptiness on the torso of my body, that’s when she leaves and I’m left on my own 

Sometimes I cry to remember I had her

At least when I was sad I felt something more than blankness 
I look in the mirror and see my crystallizing eyes ‘so this is how it feels like to be dead yet alive