I want to be someone different.

I've always been quiet
Only talk if I'm comfortable around you.
Very small, I never stand straight
That requires confidence,
I've never had much of that.

But that's not who I wanna be.
I want to be outgoing, participate more
I want to have confidence,
Be able to stand tall and proud
Talk louder, and be sure of myself.

But I can't.
I have hardwired my brain
Into being this way.
Acting the same as I have since
the very first grade.

It's not as easy as it looks,
To stand tall, be outgoing.
To know who you are
And be comfortable in your own skin
When you've trained yourself to be this way.

Like I have.

I don't know another way
to talk, act, or walk.
I'm small, shy, and I do try
To slouch away from things I don't know.
From people who might criticize.

Maybe one day,
When I'm older, and I know more
About who I am
And about who I do and don't want to be,
Maybe then I'll be the person I truly feel that I could be.