Anxiety.
The evil twin of an adrenaline rush.
Heart starts pounding, forehead, palms are sweating.
Pupils dilate and then begins the nervous twitching, the restless attempts at sleep.
Staring at a digital clock. Is it morning yet? No. It’s 2am.
And all I can think about is what I should of said differently.
Maybe a minute sooner. Or a minute later?
I can stand at the pulpit of “Just relax, Don’t stress, Don’t worry about it” all night and day, but I couldn’t possibly practice what I’m preaching.
I continue resisting, but my efforts are worthless I feel.
Cursed, will I bear this disease always?
An invisible cancer, no can see it, but my heart is burdened
Heart break, heart ache.
The fear of no equilibrium, and now my fear is reality.
My chest now has been torn into and the contents have been burned.
My mind rushes to help, but logic is defeated by the guessing and the unknown.
Am I mad? Am I alone?
Please. save. me.