january 11th, 2013
one year ago, today
i was unable to put
my feet on solid ground
for awhile
i used the bodies of those
i called lovers
to hold me up
but that day
late that friday night
my last hold slipped away,
and i realized
that there was never anything solid
to begin with
so i drank
indulged on ***** and blood
laid down for eternal sleep
but instead was awoken,
minutes from oblivion

you asked me
why you should believe
that i won't do it again;
i said that i learned something
about myself that night:
i will take the pain over oblivion
any day