Be good enough?
Body and soul
There's not purity in me
And I want to be
Perfect

I want to be the snow
Before it ever touches the ground
To be the thought
Of love
For the first time
In an innocent mind
I want to be what he needs
Even if I don't know what that is.

My flesh, on my back
It screams, begs for the blade
The pain
Puncture it like duck-skin
With a knife
A blade
Oh GOD PLEASE
Just give me the pain
But I can't.

I cannot
Give the blessed pain
To my own skin
Because I can't hide it.
Thank
Everything
That he makes
Regular checks of my
Palescarred body
As we lay amongst
Comforter and stuffedanimalmonkeysandhedgehogs
I can't hide the lines
On the expanse of my back or thighs
Because he caresses them
Thank God he thinks
I'm perfect.