I have to hold them up.
I will NOT let them down.
It will **** me.
I know.
I've accepted it.
I will not allow them to follow.

The water is cold in my lungs.
It stings, like shards of ice.
All i want to do is scream,
But water doesn't make a sound.
It's heavy, and quiet, like snow.
Like curtains.
Like fur.
Like the silence that comes after the splashing,
When the water wins.
It always wins.

I can't see the light overhead.
I'm so far down.
They're gone.
I know they're gone.
They stopped fighting.
What am I for?
I still won't let them down.
There's still a chance.
But I know there isn't.

Surprise.
I've lasted longer than I thought I could.
It took longer for me than them.
Even when I held them on my shoulders.

I can't breathe.
My god, I need air.
I NEED TO BREATHE.
Let me out.
Let me out.
Please.
I cannot breathe.
It hurts.
I didn't think it would hurt.

It wasn't the water.
It was never the water.
It was the heaviness.
It suffocated me.
It got them too.
What am I for?
What was I ever for?