under the influence again
just so I can stop thinking
about the emptiness I feel
like it’ll completely wash away
down the cold steel drain
and flush out into the abyss
of the rest of the world’s pain
I cannot understand the flightless
fears and insecurities that are
bound to the entirety of me
and why I’m crying without cause
when I should already be asleep
life is as real as the concept of you
and it’s happening now, every day
I awaken in the afternoon because
everything is frightening to do
I’m not ready to be a failure again
still recovering from you and hoping
to meet someone new so it’s easy to
***** a good thing up for myself
life is relentless, happening now
I’m under the influence