Tonight my past is creeping on my thoughts.
Countless days in a house by myself.
Memories of the schizophrenia I had when I was younger.
I call what I had schizophrenia, because I am not sure my imagination was twisted enough to have it insult me to the point of giving me nightmares.
I remember all of the times that I left people behind when I moved.
I recall all of the people I have ignored.
I take all of this into my head, and I just wish that I was a better person.
I do what I can for people, but I rarely let anyone get close to me in life.
I don't compliment people without seeing actions worthy of recognition.
I don't have any remorse for people when I think they deserve something.
I just lay down now, and I wish I could be someone's teddy bear.
I just wish that I could be valued with secrets, held often, and come to for comfort.
It sounds like a life I could live well.
Sure after they grew up they would probably move on, but at least I would have helped them.
Some people even keep their teddy bears for as long as they can.
So maybe I could have someone to be around.