Dragging my *** to the liquor store
After midnight on a brand new Tuesday
I sort of wish

That I could sit cross-legged in a desert somewhere
With the sun ripping into me
And sweat out all the cheeseburgers I ever ate
All that yellowy cheddar would ooze out of my pores
All the slippery chunks of meat would fall off my forehead
                                   And sizzle in the sun
Maybe all the tar from all the cigarettes would slip out too
      All the whiskey would steam off into the great big blue sky
         All the slaves my great great great whatevers owned would come whooping freely out of me
              All the meanness and rudeness and all those little selfish thoughts would drip on out
                                             The *** would crawl right out of my *****
                    And any little pieces of broken hearts would fly back to their owners
And I'd wither into a shrunken pillar of pure good
That'd be nice                                                    
A relief                              


But if there was a shred of me left on my bones
I'd probably just drag my *** to another liquor store
To celebrate