the old frustrations
so obvious now
it only took a few hits
to figure it out
it only took a few years
to have my head above the waves
probably a few more
before i actually mean what i say

gagging at the thought
of my past versions
to stagnation and over-emotion
i've developed an aversion
a reflex i can't help
i can try to forgive myself
but i will never be proud
of making do than doing well

spitting acid
when i could have offered compromise
making myself some sort of martyr
of unnecessary sacrifice
where i should've countered with
kindness and open-mindedness
i curled into negativity
causing my own blindness

running a psychological deficit
standing on the precipice
that the only answer might be watching everything burn
and just letting it