Oct 2023
I took a picture of myself in the mirror today
An Ode to the algorithm Gods and immediate gratification
I just want people to read my poetry
And I will get more views
If I succumbed to my body as the poster child
Holding up flashy signs pointing to
my words
“Please read!”
There’s more to me than what you see here,
I promise.
But it is not the algorithm God’s fault - not at all theirs - that a picture of a girl undressed in her bathroom mirror
elicits more & immediate emotion
And that black words on a white page get glossed over (I get it, I really do. Sometimes I don’t have the patience or the capacity either)
I want so badly to make you feeling something.
My sister will, of that I am entirely sure.
She will soak in every word and get to know me even deeper.
There are a few others who will do the same, and I appreciate you deeply.
Because this was never about my reflection.
I just want the words I’ve laced together that I love so much
To be read & loved too.
I want to tell you that yesterday
the butcher asked me if I wanted the beef heart cut into slices
And I said no
because holding it whole in my hand allows me a moment
To drift away and dream of when it’s the heart of a steer I’ve loved and butchered myself
I want to tell you that
My dog always takes the chicken foot off his food bowl first
and runs away to another room to ingest it
as if it holds wisdom he must keep to himself
I want to tell you that I prioritized writing this morning over breakfast
Because I had to get this all out before I could even consider
Taking anything in
I want to tell you that
I wonder all the time why I get to be in a body
That wakes up to so much love every day
I want to tell you
I moved into a new house
and there are altars everywhere
and I started bleeding as soon as I was settled here
Because my body knows everything
My body is the actualization of my ancestors ceremonies
I want to tell you that
My body is moving me through each day
and I am finding poetry
In places another version of me could have never imagined to be beautiful
An Ode to the algorithm Gods and immediate gratification
I just want people to read my poetry
And I will get more views
If I succumbed to my body as the poster child
Holding up flashy signs pointing to
my words
“Please read!”
There’s more to me than what you see here,
I promise.
But it is not the algorithm God’s fault - not at all theirs - that a picture of a girl undressed in her bathroom mirror
elicits more & immediate emotion
And that black words on a white page get glossed over (I get it, I really do. Sometimes I don’t have the patience or the capacity either)
I want so badly to make you feeling something.
My sister will, of that I am entirely sure.
She will soak in every word and get to know me even deeper.
There are a few others who will do the same, and I appreciate you deeply.
Because this was never about my reflection.
I just want the words I’ve laced together that I love so much
To be read & loved too.
I want to tell you that yesterday
the butcher asked me if I wanted the beef heart cut into slices
And I said no
because holding it whole in my hand allows me a moment
To drift away and dream of when it’s the heart of a steer I’ve loved and butchered myself
I want to tell you that
My dog always takes the chicken foot off his food bowl first
and runs away to another room to ingest it
as if it holds wisdom he must keep to himself
I want to tell you that I prioritized writing this morning over breakfast
Because I had to get this all out before I could even consider
Taking anything in
I want to tell you that
I wonder all the time why I get to be in a body
That wakes up to so much love every day
I want to tell you
I moved into a new house
and there are altars everywhere
and I started bleeding as soon as I was settled here
Because my body knows everything
My body is the actualization of my ancestors ceremonies
I want to tell you that
My body is moving me through each day
and I am finding poetry
In places another version of me could have never imagined to be beautiful
