i wonder if you'll be horrified, seeing me
smiling the same way you've been smiling since,
ever since the first drops and the first milligrammes broke your face
but ghastly, thinner, gaunt
hearing light and seeing sound the way it first crept on our skin
i know you know it's not really you

i wonder if it is horror
to find out that i am living this life
with this decrepit shell that we have ended up in
i know it feels a horror
to know
yes, we have died
only that you also get to know what you look like as a corpse
after that very uncomfortable mouth to mouth

i regret knowing how you would feel
knowing that i kept on
regardless

sincerely, i didn't mean to scare you
but you did.
you *******
you should drink a lot more water.