Jul 2023
I do not have the luxury
Of caring for myself.
When I feel tears coming
I bite my tongue
And look at something bright
To hold them back
When I feel the need to slash my wrists
I don't say anything
I just allow it to happen
And hope that this won't be the day
That I finally give into temptation
I can't take time off work
For a mental health day
I need the money
And rent isn't cheap
When I feel unloved
I don't tell anyone
I just suffer
And wish
And hope
And scream
Inside
Wishing I could open my mouth
Utter the words
So that someone
Anyone will know
That I'm not okay
That I'm asking for help
Of caring for myself.
When I feel tears coming
I bite my tongue
And look at something bright
To hold them back
When I feel the need to slash my wrists
I don't say anything
I just allow it to happen
And hope that this won't be the day
That I finally give into temptation
I can't take time off work
For a mental health day
I need the money
And rent isn't cheap
When I feel unloved
I don't tell anyone
I just suffer
And wish
And hope
And scream
Inside
Wishing I could open my mouth
Utter the words
So that someone
Anyone will know
That I'm not okay
That I'm asking for help
I've read that when you're depressed, you should treat yourself like you're sick- take a few days off work, rest, take long baths, drink tea... but what do you do when you feel like this constantly? I can't take every day off from life. I'm in meds, and I don't know why I still feel this way. Nothing lasts longer than a moment. I just want to go back to the way it was before.
