I'm not doing well at all. I've eaten tears all day and night, Lack of sleep pounds in my head like a drum. Like a door that's been locked with any semblance of sanity just out of reach. My eyes hurt, my soul hurts. Tears are a companion I meet with every day. I hold them back at work by looking into a bright light, but I sometimes wonder if anyone can tell how puffy and red my eyes really are behind these safety glasses. I distract myself with jokes and feigned energy, but the mask only goes so deep and I just wish that someone would love me enough to look underneath and just hold me for a long time until everything fades away and I feel like I can breathe without breaking.