&
when i've grown accustomed to sleeping with you,
i sleep fitfully without you
even worse when you're unhappy
(and i've no clue why)
(all i want to do is help)
(all you want to do is hurt)

am i allowed my pain?
or is that more of an inconvenience
(you don't want to see how you hurt me)
(only want to look at the ways i make you unhappy)
(which is apparently all i do)

i'm scared
(to ask what's the point of it all)
(to find out what 'love' means to you)
(to know how little you care)

so i guess
i'll write this poem
(poem-adjacent thing, who knows)

and hope
(that things get better)
(that you cheer up)
(that you let me in)