foreign words
permeate my brain as blood flows through the cave
to drown me again
velvet gloves are not enough to keep myself from throwing up
at the thought of you doing anything
my blood stained finger tips tear through the fabric to rip at my own skin

and when you touch me it all just ceases

your sweet tone
dissolves into my spit-filled soul
a high that i can't replicate anywhere in this miserable childhood home
and when it wears i just want more
when it's gone i just need you to hold
the incessant shakes when i feel the weight of my aching bones

and when you hold me i sleep like i'm old

please don't leave me
don't leave me anymore