When I'm alone, the thoughts start coming in.
Darker and more seductive than ever.
Like *** and erotica is my addiction, my infatuation, my drug.
I crave it in obsolescence.
But having these thoughts are not good for me...
I Should learn my lesson, but I never do.
A friends with benefits situation will never work out.
It always leads to something one way or another.
The *** was too good.
Explosive, passionate, hot, and ****** fiery.
To have *** like that again and end up not feeling anything for each other.
That's impossible.
It will turn out to be a complicated situation.
I stay away from hookups and one night stands for this reason.
I can't help but overthink, overanalyse.
It awakens deep emotions in me that I can't escape.
I wonder if he feels the same way after the ***.
He seems to be wanting to detach from me in order to protect himself.
On the other hand, I can't have him, he's temptation that I can't resist.
This is why I hold myself back from ***.
My *** is powerful, raw, ******, and uncut.
Either way, I have a guy that I actually want to be with in the future.
I see long-term lover potential in this other guy and I can't waste that away by causing complications with the friends with benefits guy.

This is the guy I probably will end up marrying one day, I cant waste that all away on another guy that can't be with me.
I can't be with him either, I don't want to.
I want the guy I'm supposed to be with.
But the *** has me thinking otherwise.
This happens every time I have fun with a guy, it never turns out well.
Yet my desires and temptations are speaking for itself.
I want to more than ever, to **** me inside out.
Rough, and slow and magnetic as the pressure builds up.
I can't stop thinking about his ***, his ****, his mind.
It was too powerful to ignore.
I wonder if he feels the same about my ***.
I need to get this off my mind, but I merely can't resist such temptation.