before i knew it,
it wasn't february anymore

gone are the days
where i longed for the rain
in the afternoon heat

now it was august here
and the monsoon season
made our once empty backyard
fill with mangosteens and rambutans

it downpours every day
i finally got what i wanted in february
but ironically, i find myself missing
the afternoon heat once again

i hate being chained
to this feeling

i hate being in this cycle
of constant longing

only six months have passed
but so have you

and i have to learn how to adapt
to the change of seasons
and loneliness
once again