I want to hold you*
You stared into my eyes and said it with such conviction.
That's mine
You said it to me like you were admitting it to yourself as much as you were admitting it to me.
Please don't change
you whispered into my ear like it was a secret, your hands wrapped around mine.

Your hands wrapped around mine. So simple yet so foreign to me.
I've never felt so exposed by someone's unrelenting gaze.
Not even completely naked have I felt so bared.

Its like you have reached into my chest and swatted away my defenses like a giant man marching through a sea of toy soldiers with tiny plastic swords.
Reached in and grabbed onto something inside of me and it is jarring my very soul.
You have just been like an earthquake shaking up my foundations and shifting the bricks and mortar to expose what is behind the wall to the light.

The look in your eyes says
Don't write me off just yet.
And its almost like a siren song. I just keep following the path you are blazing.
Its almost like you crack me open, tear through me like a tornado in a forest and all I can do is give in to it.
Look back at the great oaks fallen in a forced clearing and wonder how this all happened.

Just when I think I am untouchable, you come out of nowhere and put me in my place.
Where that would incite a riot within me all I am left with now is resignation.
The echo of your voice rings in my ears and I am powerless to stop you.

As I sit silent and listen to you put me in my place I am torn between being angry or even scared.
The inherent need to flee the scene of this evisceration rises from the pit of my stomach.
But I cannot deny wanting to fall into your arms.
Even as you cut into me, I want you to hold me tightly.
Hold me together as you tear me apart.
It is so conflicting to me. It is confusing.
The more it hurts, the closer I want to be.
Some days I feel like a bird flying too close to the sun.