I call my wife sweet pea
I call my lover side-chickpea
Either way it's her and me
We take nothing from nobody

When I step in it, what to doo
I wipe it off in the sink, right off my shoe
Ask me not pun-pun, I can't, I have a slew
No matter how happy I get, I'm always blue

Seeking higher ground, with the bottle downed
My mind I can't hear, it isn't sound
Nobody's here, they no longer come around, or so I've found
Heart didn't hurt didn't quit it does still pound

I don't walk the street with my heart on my sleeve
When I enter a room most folks had better leave
I joke I make fun I poke, it's my daily reprieve
I love my girl and if I have a boyfriend I'd name hymn Steve

Enough, enough they cry. Stop it, stop-it-up, just stop it now
But it's okay, like and imaginary workout, no sweat on the brow
A word on Andrew; a legal matter, accusations abound, holy cow
This crap is complete it stains my underwear as I take the bow