I hung up my clothes today
separated them into donate and keep
folded the ones that didn't need to take up vertical space
and when I was done I spent the rest of the day on the verge of a panic attack
unable to complete the rest of my work
unable to do anything worthy of contribution at my job
I took more breaks today than I ever have
hid in the office for a few hours occupying myself with paperwork
hiding from guests
and coworkers
and responsibility
and stimuli
I sat out on the receiving dock
where others go to some cigarettes
I found myself sitting on the concrete steps still slightly damp from rain earlier that day and resisting the impulse to knock my head against the brick wall of the building.

I did a simple task and I could not function
this is what I mean when I say I need help.