If there’s one reason why I haven’t done it
It is hurting a child who cannot decipher
What losing someone means
I cannot be the first explanation
I don’t want to be
Yet why does it hurt to exist?
Why do I feel like there’s only one path for me
To be a mere name in the news
To be forgotten and be read by people who seek solace
Or those who seek pain
Will one less person in the world make a difference?
I wish I knew.

But yes, I do.

I cannot be selfish, right?
That’s how it is.

So I live until I find a reason not to.