So now what
I feel like this has been my opening line
For every poem I write
Nearly every night.

With a clamoring crash
All the walls to the house we built
Came crashing down
I think I might have taken a pair of scissors
To the windowsills
Just trying to feel something again
Sick of the purgatory
And the ultimate newness
You didn't put your palm out for
That happens after you break away
From a lover you were building with.

So here I am now
With my windowsills split
My cat meows at our door endlessly
Looking for sunshine and grass to eat
And I got angry earlier
With painful truths
So he took out the already loose nails of the roof
& now here I stand in the debris.

I hope he'll see the rumble & tumble
Of me with the broken pieces of our love
As I see a series of flashbacks
Where I was young all was so complex,
Intricate
And he'll feel a deep mournful keeeeeeening
Tremendous loss.

Hope?
People speak of the virus spreading
New strains
Drank too much Blantons at the party
Got sick all the next day, forgot my body
Ordered more **** after vowing to cut back
That's when I remind myself I will get on it
But cut yourself some slack
You've been doing your ******' best
Only matters you know that.

Made some shrimp tonight after weeping into my mattress
I have every right to hurt.

Big sigh
Release
Release

Release.