It feels like, I’m waiting on something,
But I don’t know what that “something” is
All the comfort that was I used to in the past,
Now, it seems to cease


Suddenly, it feels as if I’ve lost everything,
The next moment it feels as if I’m yet to earn it1
One thought makes me wanna let go of everything,
The other makes me wanna catch everything that is gone


One thought makes me wanna lose myself,
The other makes me wanna love myself
One thought makes me feel deserted2,
The other makes me wanna feel the bliss


One thought makes me wanna feel sad3,
The other makes me wanna rush to the happiness I want4
One thought makes me wanna die,
The other makes me wanna live my bestest life


One thought makes me feel alone,
The other thought makes me feel so lively
One thought makes me wanna bark it out,
The other makes me wanna duck in it


How could I go with what I feel?
This time, I look around, there’s nothing to heal,
All this time I feel like running away,
But, I swear, I no more want to conceal


                My brain is filled with something,
When I ask, it seems to be nothing
Apparently, there’s nothing in there,
But what I see with my closed eyes5 haunts me more than the reality


Seeing myself, crawling on blood
One thought makes me brave enough to endure
The other makes me coward enough to leave


“what’s all that?!” I always think,
I know these thoughts of mine will never sink
Seeing myself like that, the whole time makes me wanna wake up,
But the reality seems to be no different


It’s just the thorns which convert to words
The torture converts to action
The evil becomes mortal6
And the lucid7 becomes reality










1 feeling of losing something I never had; 2 feeling of having nothing left; 3 choose what the others want/make the wrong choice and be sad for the rest of my life; 4 choose what I want and be happy; 5 dreaming; 6 humans are the evil in reality and are mortal; 7 not real/imaginary