it scares me how hungry my heart is
how it needs and feels so much
i'm scared of how it rages on
suddenly and relentlessly
and most of the time i don't know how to calm it,
i don't know the right words to say to remind it that what it wants isn't necessarily the right thing

how it just breaks
it breaks so much, i think it breaks everyday, and it breaks for the littlest of things
the things that shouldn't matter
but my heart swims in pain anyway

i'm scared of how much it can feel,
doubling the intensity of everything
both a curse, and a blessing

joy and pain are real
and they can both hurt and feel good
at the same time

I know this because i know you
and you make me feel them all the time

i'm scared of my own heart because i know what it wants

you

it beats your name like a morse code
day in and day out,
and that's all it ever does ever since you've been gone

i'm scared of my heart,
of how much it loves something that's gone
i'm scared of how much it loves you.