I hate honesty
And I hate that no one likes my poems
And I hate that no one will understand this
But writing for me is like setting my heart free

I hate being away from him
Because at night after a long miserable day
I need him close
I just went on vacation
But it was only fun in between
The yelling
And swelling
And the pain
And today I imagined my arms
Cut up
And I hate those thoughts
And I hate feeling weak
I don't wanna watch this kid anymore
He's not mine
I don't wanna hurt
I wanna be with him
Whenever I want
And I want them to stop doubting us
I wanna feel free
To work toward my goals without
These things weighing me to the ground
I want him and school and my dreams
I want to work and be normal
At least a little
I want to breathe and not feel like a monster
I don't wanna be fat
But I don't wanna eat meat and eggs and salads
I want fruit and yogurt and nuts
And I want to smile
I want to smile
With hope all these things will come true
When in reality I'd settle for one
Just one.