I watched her sniff a line of *******
From the mahogany table where we first ******

This wasn’t in the Cabinet Room
This was in our apartment
The place where I presided over the affairs with the aid of my Lady

During the night of Bastille we blew ourselves sky high
We aren’t French and I don’t know much about the Revolution
But the Eiffel Tower was aglow with the cracking of fireworks
And many people were keen on celebration
So we thought we’d hit powder

But not even Moriarty could have conjured the evil that next sprang upon our fête
When we realized that as we were approaching the heavens like the 7 of Mercury
Our friend pulled a prank and made our martinis with sweet vermouth instead of dry
Then we all began to crash into the Atlantic