Maphrodite's  Child

I am no greek goddess of love
neither am I a god
not quite sure how I got this way
maybe eating too much scrod

I like wearing frilly things
I also like to fight
owner of many golden rings
I'll kick your *** for spite

am I this or am I that
I do not really know
like a ****** I am fat
but some call me a **

I have no dangling participle
nor have I glove of fur
nothing to yank or dip into
yet my emotions stir

I might take an operation
to see how it would be
I'm leaning toward a manly man  
have an add-a-****-to-me

but I'll still wear my flowered skirts
and lacy underware like this
but when I'm out with the boys
I can stand and take a ****

yes I will be a legend
a kick *** girl gone wild
people will stand and point at me
there goes maphrodite's child

Gomer LePoet...