i find refuage in my basement behind a closed door screaming out to metal music broken razor blades litter the floor and upon the table youll find pills crushed into powder like magic it numbs my mind. in times of anger i smash my fists agaisnt the wall knuckles meet cement i watch a bruise form while i let the tears fall. the blade so easy i caress its shattered edge the metal to my skin i dont even flinch i hate you so much a **** for every sin. so i plaster on the makeup around my emotionless eyes i dont know if youve noticed but the love has recently died. i find my face boring so plain and mundane so i shove a needle threw my lip a maschoist addicted to pain. and baby you might think youve saved me but youve only dragged me down i hate you so much like a drug you leave me strungout and hell bound.
going threw some old writing. found this from 2009