oh the average duke of sussex
he had 2000 soldiers
he marched them up to the top of the downs then rolled them down like boulders

and when they were here they were here
and when they were there they were there
and when they hit the barbed-wire fence they were neither here nor there

and when they were up they were up (in heaven)
and when they were down they were down (in hell)
and when they were only half way up
we called that life on earth