Never being able to sleep
always seems to be the theme of my life
the soundtrack so dramatic
action packed and inappropriate

However the reasons now have changed
my heart beating at a different pace
thinking I can finally answer
all the questions burning in my mind

Being the being I have always wanted to be
is fulfilling in so many countless ways
having lost so much time over chasing this concept
never expecting to actually capture it

Not endlessly striving for perfection
just wanted to be relatively understood
my thoughts always so busy in my before
with everything else in my now has been soothed

Feelings sometimes get the better of me
like the rug pulled from under me, caught unawares
the best I can do is follow the direction they lead
but this time the end result completely unknown

With complete anticipation
yearning, aching, and almost desperation
I take one tiny step forward
and, clumsy me, fall flat on my face

The difference is
as I lay with my inbetweens
I will forever always get up
never letting the fall get my very best

Not anymore.