Sometimes
When I drag myself out of my room
Usually around noon
I sit at the table
And look out the big window
And see the ducks, chickens and crows
Watch the cats and squirrels and possums
Sometimes we'll see bunnies or raccoons or a fox
Once there was a doe out there
And two different dogs have gotten away from their owners and into our yard
Sometimes I'll see family members

I always check
If my step fathers car is there
And my mother
Who does not have a driver's license
I will seek her out in the house
She doesn't like to speak
And I don't agree with her ideals
But I look and make sure she's here

I worry that she'll get in the car one day
And drive off
My older brothers said it happened to them
She packed them in the car and left
Without a word
My older brother said to watch out for the signs
And if she ever took us to stall her trip as much as possible
Call him or my older sister
And they'd pick us up and take us home

Somehow, my thoughts always spiral
And I want to blame my brother
For sowing this fear inside of my mind
But I am comforted
By the fact that my mother and I disagree
Because as much as it hurts
I don't believe that if she ever left
That she would take me