It’s like when...
you sense the waning spark beneath her touch.
She is next to you in flesh,
The sheets have taken on her scent,
Her presence has engulfed yours.
she is here and she is gone.
You watch her drift away,
you have lost your power
to reach her,
To touch her deeply,
To hold her soul within the most intimate folds of your own so she can cry in peace.
You hold on, sometimes to nothing.
One day, you realize it has all slipped away.

Its like that...
Its the same kind of losing pieces of yourself when relationships burn and gray.
Its the same whirlwind of spinning thoughts that torture our souls and self worth.
Its the same solitary void;
Empty.
Its the same pain in your chest when you feel like you can’t breathe because your breath was her breath
was my breath
Was our breath
Its the same feeling of betrayal and wondering;
if you ever knew her at all,
If you ever even knew yourself.

Its not charged by ***,
It’s not impassioned by lust.
Its resilient to volatility,
Its not manipulated.
Its steady. Its imperfect.
Its not pressurized by labels or condemned by society, most of the time.
Its organic, it’s honest.
It fuels community, and community follows.
It inspires and it moves.
Its not romantic,
Its love.

So believe me when I say it means nothing less than the world to me,
and understand that I may cry.
I may run
I may hide,
I will probably go wild.

And forgive me,
If my punches graze you,
and my words betray my heart with flames;
If I am half-hearted and slow to breathe,
if I give you all my worst as I fight the inevitable,

resisting,
denying,
losing myself to what I fear most-

Feeling you slip away.