I daydream about death
Sometimes I wonder how it feels to be 6 feet under
I dream about the release of quiet
Of nothing
No stress
Daydreaming about my mother again
Hoping she’ll show up out of the blue
Come back for me
She won’t
This I know
I don’t want to die
I just think of it often
And I don’t know how to stop thinking
To stop feeling so much
Sometimes you wonder if you’re just as bad as him
Because you saw the mugshot of him
And how much he aged in the past months
So skinny, so stressed
You wonder if you’re just as bad
If you’re causing someone to stress so much
Am I causing him pain?
I don’t care
But I don’t want to turn out like him
I remember when he used to be so intimidating
When you thought no one would believe you
Because he was so convincing
I hope I never cause anyone pain
But I guess sometimes you have to
Because you need to protect others around you