Summers changed for me, now that it’s real. So many great things are going on but I can’t help but focus on the negatives. My family is at each other’s throats, I’m torn between friends and enemies. I wake up and stay in my room for hours, waiting for the next day to roll by. I stuff my face and watch as my self image grows worse and do nothing to fix it. I can’t wait for school. I’m terrified of school. My anger is taking over. Little things terrify me, and all I want to do is hurt. I convince myself I’m in the right. I know better than that. I can’t seem to do things right. As for her, lately I’m only hurting her. I’m having issues putting my feelings into words, being calm. I spend most of my time scaring her or starting arguments that aren’t needed, that only hurt me. It’s no wonder she’s gravitating towards him. I’m losing her. All my friends are jumbled, I feel like everything and everyone is falling to pieces in front of me. It’s like cupping water in your hands, you don’t know how but somewhere theres a hole and everything’s leaking through. It’s the worst I’ve felt in a long time and it all hit me today. I’m sorry, to everyone. I’m trying my best, really. I won’t pretend that I’m changing or that I’m going to change. Just don’t leave me.