Driven by fear he attempt to commit to it
But he’s unsure he shudders and stutters
then thinks aloud again “is it the right choice”
He’s astute enough to know that this currently seems like an appropriate option
But what about later
what about then
what about when there is no one left but you
how will you cope then
how will you deal with stuff
he takes deep breaths
and holds them for five seconds
listens to his heart beats
as they regulate and adjust
he is no longer frail or brittle
His limbs stiffen
and so do his privates
his voice steady and firm
The fear is gone
replaced by desire
He managed to convince himself
that this is what he has always wanted
what he currently and surly wants
and what he has been longing for
This whole process is no big deal
he does this kind of **** often
and just lies to himself until the actual truth no longer seems plausible
But it is when the authentic veracity fades and seizes to exist
and when the lie becomes all there is
its self-destruction its only that
Perhaps he can change what his conscious perceives to be tru
But the sub and un conscious is merely untouchable it has a cognition of its own
But its not now that somewhat concerns him
cz he still knows that it was self-composed
with time passage it won’t be like that anymore
he might be too dead to regret it