I was always a quiet kid. Being in the background, being invisible was something I mastered. I was in the same school for fourteen years. That's fourteen years of being everyone but me.
From buying ****** strings in class 4, spending all my time trying to make those **** things. To joining danceworx in class 6 because everyone who I wanted to befriend went to those. I hated dancing, I just needed something, a topic to strike some kind of conversation. I even took part in things that involved dancing, I wanted to be just like everyone else.
I listened to music everyone else liked, which unfortunately included Taylor Swift. I even watched those cringe worthy teenage movies like Twilight.
Eventually, I had a best friend, throughout class 7 & 8. We were inseparable, we had sleepovers, inside jokes and all that. I was ecstatic to say the least. Right before class nine begun, we outgrew each other. It wasn't anyone's fault. Friends fall apart. But, it was then I begun blaming myself for everything. Always thought it was me who messed up. When class 9 started, after the first set of tests, my parents thought it was a good idea for me to drop maths and science and take up economics and evs instead. To be honest, it made my life so much easier but at the same time, I always questioned myself. "If they can do maths and science, why can't I?".
"What's wrong with me?"
It was also in class 9, when I got my first boyfriend, albeit we broke up in the span of a few days, he soon became my best friend. I went through this weird emotional turmoil starting from the 9th, my father passing away was the trigger. But, I had one or two friends who stuck by me, they were there for me and more importantly, I had a safety net to fall back on.
Class 10 went by like a breeze. I got red streaks right before class 11 began, in the hope that maybe this might give me a boost of confidence. It didn't. I had a new best friend, we shared a lot in common.
As class 12 came around, people around me seemed sad school was ending. I was weirdly happy, I thought maybe I can figure myself out now. But, I still wanted to be accepted so I still did things everyone else was doing. I went to parties, dressed up and all. I didn't like parties, but everyone was doing it, I wanted to be like them so I went along.
I had a boyfriend in class 12 as well, everyone was in relationships, I felt left out. He was really nice, I just rushed into everything too fast.
Graduation came along, we were to wear saris. Till date, I hate what I looked like at grad. It makes me cringe.

Through this rollercoaster called school, I did things that everyone was doing, everyone wanted to, I didn't. I spent way too much time trying to be everyone, I forgot to be me.
Now the question is, who is me?
Me is a quiet kid, me talks but can't stop talking when she find people who she can be 'me' around. Me doesn't like dancing, me refused to even move if you drag me to the dance floor. Me will just awkwardly bob my head. Me doesn't listen to pop, hates Taylor Swift with a passion. Me likes music that's a little heavier, but me also thoroughly enjoys Bollywood. Me can't do maths, and that's totally okay. Me isn't "popular" but me has a handful of friends who love her, and she loves. Me would rather stay indoors and play league of legends than go for a party. And most importantly, me isn't scared to be 'me' anymore.

I guess through all of this, I just want to say, sometimes you forget to be you. Because of all the noise in your life, trying to fit in, to like what everyone likes, to be like them. It's very important to just take a step back, remember who you really are, **** what people think and what they would say and just be you.