the first time:

when she left me
i took salvation in poetry
i searched for the words
i needed someone else to say
they understood the pain
they understood the love
they understood the loss
they understood the longing
they understood the absolute chaos
i filled my life with poetry
reading it
writing it
listening to it
and to this day
my mind and my pen
crave the comfort
the salvation
the home
i found in poetry


the second time:

when i left her
i searched for forgiveness in poetry
how do i forgive myself
for leaving someone
who hurt me
who used me
who took advantage of me
how do i forgive myself
for knowing i could never love her
and refusing to lie about it
when i left her
we both cried
i resorted back to poetry
the only home i knew
the only home i still know

i wrote everything down
every thought
every voice
every story
i found some of the same poems
with new meanings
i am forever grateful
for the poems
that hold me tight
refusing to ever let go