i keep thinking about
when she told me i was
“a lot”
she meant it as an insult
i know that
but i do not understand
how being “a lot”
is a bad thing
what she meant
was that my love
overwhelmed her
i felt emotions
she did not understand
or maybe i just understood
those same emotions differently
i loved with every part of my being
i think it is a compliment
to be able to love “a lot”
to be able to laugh “a lot”
to be able to care “a lot”
i have decided that
i am done apologizing
i am ready to wear
“a lot”
across my chest
like a scarlet letter
and embrace the woman
i am now becoming