I’m sitting here

I can feel your hate

and your anger

Lucky for me

In this moment I am not alone

I spot an ant on the wall

It walks in and out of the light

The blue and purple neon lights that come from somewhere

Somewhere in the city where someone

Is making something out of themselves

The ant runs back and forth

In imperfect circles

I focus on it because I have nothing else

I can say that I see myself in the inssignificant bug

Running, from who knows what

Hiding in the darkness , as if that will save it

So easily squashed at someone’s will

I want to shrink

To be as small as the ant

To be hidden

My oxymoron of a thought process is

I will shine; as long as no one can see me

I will speak;as long as no one believes me

I will Live; as long as no one can hear me breathe

And Now my Mind is going Blank

A desperate attempt to escape?

To save itself from further toruture?

Who knows?

But

If only I could shrink right now

Starve, and Shrink, and Shrivel Away