Am familiar with the sound of their laughter
Toward my physical appearance
Something I couldn't change even if I wanted to
But its okay
Am familiar with the ache in my heart
Every time they call me names and push me away
And I embraced those names and believed them
Am familiar with how they take steps
To step on my self esteem and trample my pride
And now my esteem is lower than my dignity
Am familiar with it all so its ok
Am familiar with the constant breaking of my soul and spirit
Anytime they befriend me only to use me
I know they will use me but I let them anyway
Because am familiar with it all
Am familiar with being treated like a rock
Because no one has shown me how a diamond is treated
Am familiar with the looks of disgust they throw my way
Because I believe I deserve those looks
And when I look in a mirror
I cant help but be disgusted with me too
Am familiar with peoples backs
Because am used to people walking away from me
That I have forgotten how it feels to be familiar with new faces
But its ok am familiar with it all
Am familiar with the ache on my cheek after a slap
After I fail to please people around me
Am familiar with the insults following after
Am familiar to giving up
I have been doing it for years now
Am familiar with hate
Because I have hated myself ever since I knew the meaning
Am familiar with giving selflessly and never receiving
Because who's there  to give me anything anyway
Am familiar with it all so its ok
Am familiar with the dead girl
Who always looks back at me in the mirror
Am familiar with her lifeless eyes
Her fake smile that never reaches her eyes
Familiar with the pain I see through the windows of her soul
Am familiar because am her
And she's I
Am familiar with wanting to end it all
With the want to take my life and embrace darkness
Am very familiar with hope
Hope someone will care
That I should hope a little longer
Am also familiar with the question
What will happen when I give up hoping?
But am familiar always have been always will be.
  -   poetry by Joyce Tshibasu