"our song"

the fragile broken rhythm of an unsteady heart trying to float above 32 bpm
surrounded by all the tangled machines counting how close to death I have strayed
when I stayed on the living room couch for two days
after choking down 26 pills in the shape of my anger

the sound of barely 100 lbs hitting the floor after two too many shots of somehing stronger than your courage
unsuccessful cpr and the way my ribs snap under the weight of our guilt

the silence swimming in the background of your converations with police sirens

the comments on your instagram  of tiny pin ****** securing my hand to yours

have you ever heard it sober?
our song
the sound of razorblades clattering against ******* stained mirrors
shattered from the last time I got high alone
that's seven years of bad luck, you know

and perhaps that's why you had to watch me die four times
and perhaps that's why I had to learn to live alone