[ Mass Noun ]

He pays cash for his plastic,
and with plastic for his cash.

But he is conscious of waste,
because his condoms are of
organic polymers,

Elastic, with an expansion
joint and a shock absorber,

Bespoke, moulded to his
shape, whilst soft.

He's a P.V.C. a Paddy and
Very Catholic,

But he confesses that he has
no problem with Synthetic's,

Yet, his girlfriend, who has
a double name, Polly Esther

Is allergic to nylons so she uses
fish nets, at Christmas, for Santa!