I saw two cars come driving up
Quick, hide the beer, the kids are here
I saw two cars come driving up
The driveway into our car port

They've brought the little *** machine
You know the puppy that I mean
I saw two cars come driving up
The driveway into our car port

They've come to drink and lie around
The three of them, and that **** hound
I saw two cars come driving up
The driveway into our car port

Shut the drapes and dim the lights
We'll make them think we're out tonight
I saw two cars come driving up
The driveway into our car port

We'll hide down here down on the floor
They will not see us from the door
I saw two cars come driving up
The driveway into our carport

"Oh, hi kids, why don't you come in"
"Your mother's dropped a safety pin"
I saw two cars come driving up
The driveway into MY CARPORT!!!

Although I tried hard to deceive
I still can't wait for them to leave
I'd love to see them backing up
The driveway out of my carport.