Finding my Heaven
a letter to my Grandpa

I remember you when mom died grandpa.
I was so small alone and frightened.
You took me to your home.
I remember your unshaven face and
brown hard working hands, Grandpa.
You fixed everything with your hands.
But you fixed me with your love.

You gave me mom's old room.
You told me it was her safe place
and she would visit me there.
When she was settled in heaven.

I told you I did not
believe in heaven, Grandpa.
You said it's alright, I will one day.
Heaven was a different
place for everyone.

When I got hurt
you always picked me up
in your huge arms Grandpa.
it was always so safe.

I never told you Grandpa
I lied when I said
I don't believe in heaven.
You and grandma,
were my heaven.

I know you have both gone
now to your heaven.
Sat in a kitchen somewhere up there
eating food from the old country.

Grandma at the stove
Mom on your knee listening
to stories of Europe
before the war.

I know I lied when I said
I don't believe in Heaven
Grandpa.
My heaven was
with you all, grandpa.
I think I will
change my heaven
to yours after all.
That's all I want Grandpa
just our heaven.

I only wish
there was a post office
in our heaven
and I could send
this letter to you.

All My Love ,
Grandpa
Jude