Startled me, it did
With darting speed, a small arachnid
That leapt, then rested upon doorframe
Fascinated me all the same

I’d seen these as quite loathsome creatures
This one epitomizing their standard features:
Clinging and spindly, longly legged
Many eyes – quick death, they begged

So grabbing a tissue, I prepared for gore
Having slain these things many times before
I wadded the weapon tight in my grasp
When the spider did speak – and I did gasp

“You are, sir, a gentleman, I do so guess
And I will so die at your behest
But perhaps from me something you could learn
And my purpose t’would be duly earn’d.”

“Go on,” said I. “Say what you will.”
Disgusted by the thing I’d planned to ****
“My life is short,” the bug went on
“Spare me and I’ll still soon be gone.”

“That’s no reason to your company savor
Sounds like I’d be doing you a favor!”
But it stretched and displayed during my hesitation
All the merits of its creation

I watched with skeptical cocked eyebrow
The spider approach and grinning now
“You’ve already spent more with me this spell
Than any other bugs could have lived to tell.”

“All I wanted in this spider’s life
Is not strength, nor size, a man nor wife
But just to hear I’m thought of separately
From other spiders you’ve killed lately.”

“So, with our promise and the final ****
Bugs appearing, no longer will
And all creatures, then, that you will meet
You’ll happily choose to love and greet.”

The spider and I consummated this pact
And suffice to say, I committed the act –
Crushed the thing to death betwixt
Fore finger and thumb, with tissue affix’d

Since that spider, the abhorrent gnat
On the door frame never a spider sat
But since the spider’s vague prediction
I have new troubles, this strange affliction:

A hatred I had felt so sure
Simply isn’t any more
And I must tell everyone I see
Just how the spider baffles me